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    Lies and Bloopers on CVs

    Dumb

    I love stuff like this..

    Forty-Six Per cent of UK Employers Have Caught a Lie on a CV, According to CareerBuilder.co.uk

    CareerBuilder asked hiring managers to share the most memorable or outrageous mistakes they came across on CVs.  Examples include:

    ·         Wrote “yes please” in the section of application that asked Sex – Male or Female?

    ·         Touted her “aquatic research” at the University of “Whales”

    ·         Wrote “I am good at speling”

    ·         Touted a degree from Oxford University in Cambridgeshire

    ·         Claimed to be a project manager on a very large project – interviewer’s son was actually the project manager

    ·         Male applicant included the name of the school he attended – it was an all girls school

    ·         Said worked for company starting in 1966, but was not born until 1978

    ·         Two candidates for the same job had the exact same opening paragraph – they were friends

    ·         Said he served in a particular war, but the dates were completely wrong

    ·         Claimed to have a job at a previous company that was actually the interviewer’s job at that company

    The most common lies UK employers say they find on CVs include:

    ·         Embellished responsibilities: 34 per cent

    ·         Skill set: 27 per cent

    ·         Dates of employment: 10 per cent

    ·         Companies worked for: 9 per cent

    ·         Academic degree: 9 per cent

    ·         Job title: 8 per cent

    The press release included some tips for jobseekers and the one which caught my eye was entitled "Stand out from the crowd".  It states that one-third of hiring managers said on average they spend 60 seconds or less looking at a CV when first reviewing an application.  I used to work with a guy who screened CVs at the rate of 3 a minute with a shout (to himself) of "next please" as he chucked each "unsucessful" applicant's CV into the bin!  Of course, I'm sure there are no recruiters like that around any more!

    15 December 2008 in Funny | Permalink | Comments (2) | TrackBack (0)

    CV Blunders and other Reasons Candidates Annoy Us

    AnnoyedAccording to research from Fish4Jobs badly presented and written CVs are more of a turn-off to almost three quarters (73%) of employers than a candidate showing up late, wearing inappropriate clothes or swearing in an interview.

    The most irritating mistakes include misspelling key details such as the employer’s (and even the candidate’s) name or job title (reported by 67% of recruiters), grammatical errors (89%) and including irrelevant information (65%). An additional 63% reported seeing inappropriate personal email addresses.

    What I love about these surveys is the funnies they highlight.  According to Fish4 here are some of the most common errors that CVs are likely to contain:

    • Candidates claiming to have “worked in a busty office”
    • People looking for “a job as a manger”
    • Jobseekers after a position in “pubic relations”
    • Candidates often claim to be “a good leeder”
    • Many have been trained in “fist aid” rather than first aid.
    • Candidates “attended collage”
    • Or went to “a very good skool”

    It's been a week for recruiters pointing out the error of candidates ways.  On the BLT Blog dodgy email addresses are discussed.  Andy at Sirona Says talks about how annoying it is when candidates have applied for a job when they don't match the advert in ANY respect and Steve at SupplyChainRecruit.com tells candidates how to write a decent CV. I ought to mention that the Fish4 press release gives tips on putting together a decent job application.  The Westmorland Gazette lists them in full on their website.

    It's a shame that Resume Hell spends too much time on his day job.  I'd love it if he posted more of the "dumb stuff I read on resumes" (don't be fooled by the title - he's a UK Recruitment Consultant). 

    Right, back to mange people in my busty office.

    29 February 2008 in Funny | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

    Joel has left the building

    Joel_2 I've just been sent Joel Cheesman's out of office response:

    I'm currently on a secret mission with the CIA and have limited access to e-mail. I will reply as soon as possible if necessary. In case of emergency, dial xxx xxx xxx . This e-mail will self-destruct in 35 seconds. - j

    I absolutely love it!

    What I also found amusing was that this was sent to me by an associate who wishes to remain anonymous.  She actually said "please don't pass on my name".  So maybe Joel really is on a secret mission.

    20 February 2007 in Funny | Permalink | Comments (1) | TrackBack (0)

    Out of Office Responses

    LionAbout 18 months ago I got a really weird out of office response from someone.  The lady had left the company and set up a hugely inappropriate autoreply.  I wish I'd kept it.   Since I've been writing this blog Ive been checking every single out of office response I get in the hope of finding something equally funny.

    After six months I finally found one I think worth a mention:

    I am currently in the middle of the Great African Plains dodging lions and Rhinos without mobile phone coverage or WiFi Hot Spots. I will be back in the office on Monday 12th February fully refreshed and eager to deal with your enquiry.

    Assuming the Lions don't get him!

    08 February 2007 in Funny | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)

    Ricky Gervais does Diversity

    I thought I'd treat myself to a Friday funny.  This is Ricky Gervais advertising Jobability.com in his own unique style.

    03 November 2006 in Funny | Permalink | Comments (0) | TrackBack (0)